Category Archives: Madness

Dad: (holding camera) Alright, everyone smile and show me your middle fingers!

Arrogance: the defining personality trait of all those who are more successful than you. Envy: the defining personality trait of all those who are less successful than you.

Kroger: Would you like to scan and bag your own groceries? Customer: Bag my own groceries? Are you going to pay me to do your work? Kroger: No. As a matter of fact, we’re going to start charging you for the bags that you’re filling yourself. Customer: Is the bag fee going toward higher qualityContinue reading “It’s All Downstream From Tip-Shaming”

“History is a merciless judge. It lays bare our tragic blunders and foolish missteps and exposes our most intimate secrets, wielding the power of hindsight like an arrogant detective who seems to know the end of the mystery from the outset.” -David Grann, Killers of the Flower Moon

In the future… …ninety people… (single piano key plinking) …live in a giant dystopian bucket… …they’re about to find out… …the bucket… …is actually something other than a bucket. (Massive orchestral version of Starship’s “We Built This City” begins playing in a minor key.) The bucket… is… full… of… secrets. The Bucket Coming Soon

91% Fresh = Definitely abysmal 92% Fresh = Definitely wretched 93% Fresh = Definitely terrible 94% Fresh = Definitely quite bad 95% Fresh = Definitely Bad 96% Fresh = Definitely Mediocre 97% Fresh = One funny scene 98% Fresh = Maybe okay 99% Fresh = Not bad 100% Fresh = Might be kind of goodContinue reading “How To Interpret A Rotten Tomatoes Score In 2023”

Amazing.

“The Poetic Age is popularly known as the “ difficult ” age. It is self-centred; it yearns to express itself; it rather specialises in being misunderstood ; it is restless and tries to achieve independence ; and, with good luck and good guidance, it should show the beginnings of creativeness, a reaching-out towards a synthesis-Continue reading “On Senior Theses”

Not every call for moderation is sincere. It is possible to call for moderation and want none of it. How so? If a certain institution is lenient, indulgent, and slow to anger, it will nonetheless be forced to draw the line at some point. When the institution draws the line and begins to scold, chastise,Continue reading “Insincere Calls For Moderation”