ChatGPT Is A Godsend

“Given ChatGPT’s sudden, unforeseeable intrusion into our lives several months ago, teachers and administrators across the country have spent the latter half of the school year playing catch-up—and, from most accounts I’ve heard, they have been roundly defeated. We now have the summer to sort out what policies we’re going to put in place next year which will keep us from getting our classical Christian butts kicked again.

Here’s the thing, though: ChatGPT is a huge boon to the classical Christian world. Why? Because it’s going to force us all to be more classical. For starters, it’s going to mean fewer five-paragraph essays assigned as homework. There’s no assignment in the world more overvalued than the five-paragraph essay. Actually, ChatGPT is going to mean less homework in general, which is going to force teachers to use their class time better. It’s going to mean more oral examinations, more memorization projects—it’s going to mean less work which involves laptops.”

-from my latest for CiRCE

In The Running

On a release calendar stacked with films from my favorite directors (Jonathan Glazer, Sofia Coppola, Wes Anderson), this movie might end up being my favorite of the year. The best time I’ve had at the theater in a very long time.

When Mid-Level Intellectuals Play King Of The Hill For Web Traffic Glory

“Tom: Have you read Mark’s takedown of Sam’s latest article?

Harry: No.

Tom: Have you read Sam’s latest article?

Harry: No.

Tom: Okay, you should read Sam’s latest article so you can read Mark’s takedown.

Harry: Okay.

Tom: Actually, Sam’s latest article is a response to Reggie’s latest article, so you should read Reggie’s first.

Harry: Can do.

Tom: But that article from Reggie is a response to an article by Jacinda.

Harry: So I should read the one from Jacinda first?

Tom: Yes…well, you’re not going to understand Jacinda’s article unless you read that one article from Desmond about warlocks, because Jacinda is definitely taking Desmond to ask.

Harry: And who is Desmond responding to?

Tom: Probably Cindy. Or Mindy. Or both of them.”

-from How To Spend Your Online Hours, my latest for CiRCE

Fencing The Classical Christian Table

“At the point a school gets to nine or ten students who should have been kicked out years ago, or who should never have been let in to begin with, the problem isn’t the number of families who aren’t missionally aligned. The problem is that the school’s stated rules and goals are not the school’s actual rules and goals. At nine or ten, whatever behaviors or beliefs should have gotten a student kicked out have become sufficiently common that they are not so much a violation of the school’s written rules as obedience to unwritten rules. A school of video game junkies and wannabe influencers is a school for video game junkies and wannabe influencers.”

-from my latest for CiRCE

Every Hulu/AppleTV+ Show For The Last Two Years Has This Premise And Trailer.

In the future…

…ninety people…

(single piano key plinking)

…live in a giant dystopian bucket…

…they’re about to find out…

…the bucket…

…is actually something other than a bucket.

(Massive orchestral version of Starship’s “We Built This City” begins playing in a minor key.)

The bucket…





The Bucket

Coming Soon

Uneducated Or Ignorant?

Many people use the word “ignorant” and “uneducated” interchangeably, which is ironic given that the word “ignorant” is largely composed of the word “ignore.” An ignorant person is not someone who hasn’t been to school, but someone who ignores what is obvious, common, easily observable, often discussed, or typically advised. An ignorant person is someone who doesn’t pay attention to reality.

An uneducated person is someone who doesn’t know who wrote the Divine Comedy. An ignorant person is someone who thinks that giving away lots of free money will solve the problem of poverty—even if this is what they teach in schools.  Paying attention to the way the world works won’t clue you in to the author of the Comedy, though it will help you understand how free money is typically spent.

Thoughts On The National’s “First Two Pages of Frankenstein”

Over the National’s last five albums, Matt Berninger has come to rely more and more heavily on a specific lyrical formula.

I was doing something random and specific/

You were doing something even more random (with too many syllables)/

Sardonic question?

It practically writes itself.

I was selling peacocks to priests in Berlin/

You were eating nachos in the dark with Frank Lloyd Wright’s ghost/

Isn’t it nice Christmas only comes once a year?


I was confessing my sins to broken stoplights on April Fool’s Day/

You were explaining to a telephone psychic that childhood ends the day after your last toy breaks/

Am I better off than I was four years ago?

How To Interpret A Rotten Tomatoes Score In 2023

91% Fresh = Definitely abysmal

92% Fresh = Definitely wretched

93% Fresh = Definitely terrible

94% Fresh = Definitely quite bad

95% Fresh = Definitely Bad

96% Fresh = Definitely Mediocre

97% Fresh = One funny scene

98% Fresh = Maybe okay

99% Fresh = Not bad

100% Fresh = Might be kind of good

78% Fresh = Potentially the best movie of the year