Joshua Gibbs

Looks Good

Pauly Shore, Classical Christian School Headmaster

Teacher: Can we talk? Board chair: Sure. Teacher: I’m here on behalf of a group of teachers who are concerned about your decision to make former MTV-VJ and Encino Man star Pauly Shore the headmaster of this school. Board chair: I don’t understand. What’s the problem? Teacher: He doesn’t have a classical bone in hisContinue reading “Pauly Shore, Classical Christian School Headmaster”

Big Boys!

In my experience, fully grown middle management enjoy using the word “pivot” about as much as eighth grade boys love an opportunity to say “bleed out,” “fubar,” “first to know, first to go,” or any other expression they can crib from Navy Seals. It makes them feel so grown up.

New Poetry: Potluck

Beside the long table of a church potluck a blind man shuffles by with a seeing man at his side the seeing man holds a plate describes the foods and no matter what he says the blind man replies oh that sounds good chicken salad oh that sounds good macaroni oh that sounds good greenContinue reading “New Poetry: Potluck”

For All The Teachers Who Are Cynical About The Classical Movement

“When I say that ‘nine out of ten administrators’ will make teachers apologize for whatever parents are upset about, I mean it. I mean that a full ten percent are going to hold out for real justice and common sense. Ten percent! That’s pretty good! It’s decent! There are good classical schools out there, and they’re run byContinue reading “For All The Teachers Who Are Cynical About The Classical Movement”

Saint Nikolai Velimirovich’s Prayer For Children

O All-plenteous Lord Jesus Christ, who wast once even Thyself a child and who used to love and bless children, have mercy upon the children of our time and save them—so that unbaptized children may be baptized, and so that baptized children may be strengthened in their faith in Thee, who art Truth eternal, andContinue reading “Saint Nikolai Velimirovich’s Prayer For Children”

“Field Recording”: Outline For A Novel I Won’t Ever Have Time To Write

Set in 1987. Warren Hays is 40 and works at a University library. He is the great grandson of Will Hays, founder of the Hays Code. Hays graduated with a master’s degree in classics from Notre Dame. He moved to LA after he graduated and tried to win fame as a standup comic. His schtickContinue reading ““Field Recording”: Outline For A Novel I Won’t Ever Have Time To Write”

Teenagers Are A Spoiled Lot

Generally speaking, teenagers are a selfish and spoiled lot. When they do not like the rules, they complain, and when complaining does not work, they simply break the rules. Teenagers have a hard time comprehending the rather simple idea that they are not yet ultimately responsible for how things turn out, and that this means theyContinue reading “Teenagers Are A Spoiled Lot”

Review (Sort Of): Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis”

For around twenty years, when discussing “the worst movie of all time,” I’ve gone back and forth on three films: Random Hearts, Cool World, and Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows. All three are bad in different ways: cloying, grating, grasping, hollow. There’s a new kid in town, though. I saw Megalopolis late last weekContinue reading “Review (Sort Of): Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis””

Come Hear Me Tell High-Wire Truths By The Beach

“There are several weak spots through which many worldly ideas enter our [classical Christian] schools: the Instagram and TikTok accounts of students and the LinkedIn accounts of administrators. LinkedIn is as bad for administrators as Instagram is for sophomore girls. Instagram is where teenage girls go to learn about wellness trends, trauma, therapy, and it’sContinue reading “Come Hear Me Tell High-Wire Truths By The Beach”