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Veteran teacher: Hey new teacher what are some of your favorite poets? Cool teacher: (puts on sunglasses) I like Dylan. Veteran teacher: Oh, the modernist Welsh poet Dylan Thomas. Yes, he’s quite amaz— Cool teacher: No. (Cool teacher drags on cigarette while mounting 1966 Triumph Bonneville motorcycle and looking off toward the horizon) Veteran teacher:Continue reading “Cool Teacher: A One Act Play”

take me at a time convenient for my soul’s health summer won’t work

Gibbs: On the quiz, when asked, “Did you finish watching all of the original Star Wars trilogy over the summer?” you answered, “Yes.” Do you want to stick with that answer? Student: Yes. How come? Gibbs: That’s a little hard to believe based on the way you answered the other questions on the quiz. Student:Continue reading “If “Star Wars” Were Homework And Students Were Quizzed On It”

It will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he began to go on his journey, but before he could leave, the mother of theContinue reading “The Beginning of a Modern Parable”

Blackened, chilled radicchio with grated Ossau-Iraty, Caesar, and Timut pepper.

Duck: Ducks don’t like cookies. Ducks like crackers! 58 Other Ducks: So true. Beaver: Do they, though?

I have forgiven myself   for far worse than the little sin which haunts   me hardest in stray moments of a day.   *  My nine-year-old daughter launches breathless   through the front door to say   her friend is walking to the park   with her family   and can she go, too?  *  No, I say, for obsidian reasons  Continue reading “New Poetry: Next”

People who pick arguments with imbeciles get habituated to saying things like, “You didn’t answer my arguments,” and, “You haven’t provided any support for your claims,” which means they tend to repeat these claims even when they’re getting razor-sharp counterarguments from thoughtful opponents.

The song “Dive” by Infinite Body was recently named the greatest song of all time by several media outlets including Pitchfork and Rolling Stone. The song “Dive” by Infinite Body was praised for its “sumptuous texture,” “rich sonic color,” and, “complex composition.” The song “Dive” by Infinite Body has been widely heralded as “a triumphContinue reading “The Song “Dive” By Infinite Body is the Greatest Song of All Time”