If Your Son Quits Going To Church In College, You Owe Me $5000

“Gibbs: I’ve seen a lot of kids lose their faith at colleges like the one he’s trying to get into.

Parent: What is it about Allister that makes you think that will happen to him?

Gibbs: Honestly, it’s not him. It’s you. Anyone as certain as you are that things will be just fine simply doesn’t take the threat very seriously.

Parent: That’s rather curt of you, Mr. Gibbs.

Gibbs: I suppose so, but I’ve been waiving my hands around frantically for years trying to get parents to take the threat of apostasy seriously, and almost no one does.  

Parent: So you’re not going to write him a letter of recommendation?

Gibbs: No, I will. I have one condition, though.  

Parent: What’s that?

Gibbs: If Allister quits attending church in his first year of college, you have to pay me five thousand dollars.

Parent: Ha ha! Wait, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

-from So You Want A Letter Of Recommendation To A Big State School?