“Gibbs: I’ve seen a lot of kids lose their faith at colleges like the one he’s trying to get into.
Parent: What is it about Allister that makes you think that will happen to him?
Gibbs: Honestly, it’s not him. It’s you. Anyone as certain as you are that things will be just fine simply doesn’t take the threat very seriously.
Parent: That’s rather curt of you, Mr. Gibbs.
Gibbs: I suppose so, but I’ve been waiving my hands around frantically for years trying to get parents to take the threat of apostasy seriously, and almost no one does.
Parent: So you’re not going to write him a letter of recommendation?
Gibbs: No, I will. I have one condition, though.
Parent: What’s that?
Gibbs: If Allister quits attending church in his first year of college, you have to pay me five thousand dollars.
Parent: Ha ha! Wait, you’re serious, aren’t you?”
-from So You Want A Letter Of Recommendation To A Big State School?