If Children Answered Questions Like Adults Being Interviewed On NPR

Mrs. Grady: Class, what is 9 divided by 3? Lucas?

Lucas (7): Absolutely. Yeah. So, 3?

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Dad: Did you call your sister a ‘puke sandwich’ and hit her in the face with the Happy Pumper?

Elijah (5): Sure. So, no.

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Mr. Ogleby: Alright, my little biologists. First review question from yesterday’s lesson: Is the nucleus “the powerhouse of the cell”?

Harper (9): So, I love that you asked this question. I feel like I want to say, ‘No.’

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Librarian: Let’s go over the rules one more time before you go looking for books. How loudly should you speak when in the library?

Marcus(6): (contemplatively) Mmmmmm. Right. So, whispering?

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Marcus: Knock knock.

Marcus’s mother: Who’s there?

Marcus: Sure. So, tank?

Marcus’s mother: Tank who?

Marcus: (compassionately) Absolutely. So, you’re welcome.

Published by Joshua Gibbs

Sophist. De-activist. Avid indoorsman.

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