Tom: How did you sleep last night?
Harry: Eh, not so great.
Tom: Did it take you a long time to fall asleep?
Tom: Did you wake up often in the night?
Harry: No, it wasn’t that either.
Tom: Did you wake up early and have a hard time falling back to sleep?
Tom: Were you plagued by bad dreams?
Tom: Then what went wrong?
Harry: I mean, I slept for eight solid hours but it just wasn’t a transformative, restorative night of sleep that makes you wake up feeling whole, healthy, unified, energized, dynamic, and full of confidence.
Tom: I’ve never had a-
Harry: Honestly, the solution might be some organic cotton pajamas I saw on Instagram the other day. And a more guilt-free skin care routine.