What The Wellness Industry Has Done To Us

Tom: How did you sleep last night?

Harry: Eh, not so great.

Tom: Did it take you a long time to fall asleep?

Harry: No.

Tom: Did you wake up often in the night?

Harry: No, it wasn’t that either.

Tom: Did you wake up early and have a hard time falling back to sleep?

Harry: No.

Tom: Were you plagued by bad dreams?

Harry: No.

Tom: Then what went wrong?

Harry: I mean, I slept for eight solid hours but it just wasn’t a transformative, restorative night of sleep that makes you wake up feeling whole, healthy, unified, energized, dynamic, and full of confidence.

Tom: I’ve never had a-

Harry: Honestly, the solution might be some organic cotton pajamas I saw on Instagram the other day. And a more guilt-free skin care routine.