For Everyone Doing ACCS Atlanta Next Month

I just saw that Jason Perry is doing a workshop called “Blending Faith and Preparedness In Safety Training” in Atlanta next month. Read more about it here. I’ve been to one of Jason’s day long safety training workshops and it was easily the best workshop of any kind I’ve attended in nineteen years as a teacher. I’m so pleased to see the classical Christian community carve out a place for this gentleman. He’s truly a warm, genuine, common sense fellow.

At his day long workshop, I was given practical, doable strategies for dealing with violent threats (especially active shooters) on school grounds. You can learn more about Jason and his company, Trident Shield, by clicking here.

What Teachers Need To Hear From Administrators At The End Of The Year

“You all have made it to the end of another school year, and I want you to know: I have seen your sacrifices.

I have not seen all of your sacrifices, but I have seen some of them.

I have not seen all of your sacrifices because you are virtuous men and women, which means you do not make a show of your good works. You have been insulted by parents and said nothing about it. You have been insulted by students and said nothing about it. You have been insulted by one another and said nothing about it. You have even been insulted by me and said nothing about it.

You have been insulted so many times that you have quit keeping count. In the beginning, you complained, but the insults kept coming, your complaints got you nowhere, and now you have humbly accepted that such insults are simply part of your job. You receive praise, too, of course, but praise doesn’t keep you up at night. But you have lost much sleep thinking about the ways you have been slighted, and you have come to work the following day tired and dejected. For all the sleep you have lost worrying about your students, praying for your students, or grinding your diamond frustrations into dust, thank you. I cannot repay you, but the Lord will recompense you with rest in Glory.

You have worked hard while at school and continued working hard when you got home. You have spent money on your students just to bless them and not asked for reimbursement. You have spent time preparing gifts, food, and needlessly extravagant lessons for your students. You have labored diligently when you could have phoned it in. For this, I thank you.

Let me speak honestly: there are many people who are necessary in order for this school to run smoothly, and a school is definitely a team, but it is you—the teachers—who actually make classical Christian education happen. You are what make it possible for this school to call itself a classical Christian school. The buck stops with you. If the building is classical, the handbook is classical, the curriculum is classical, the ads are classical, and the uniforms are classical, but the teachers aren’t, then the school isn’t giving anyone a classical education. Everything else is expendable. Plato’s Academy didn’t have any of those things. The Lord didn’t have any of those things during His earthly ministry. You, the teachers, are this school’s most precious and vital asset…”

-read the rest of the speech here (my latest for CiRCE)

If Restaurants Were Run As Badly As Airlines

Scenario One.

Man: The reservation is under the name O’Leary for 7:30.

Maître d: Your table is actually not going to be ready until 7:45.

Man: That’s fine.

Maître d: Actually, it’s going to be 8:00.

Man: 8:00?

Maître d: Actually, 9:30.

Man: What?

Maître d: I’m sorry, the 9:30 table is already booked, but there are two seats open in the restaurant next door at 2:00 in the morning.

Scenario Two.

Man: (handing over ticket) I’d like to pick up my coat.

Coat check girl: I’m sorry, sir, your coat isn’t here.

Man: Where is it?

Coat check girl: (tapping on iPad) Uh… It’s in Akron.

Scenario Three.

Man: Let me out of this restaurant.

Waitress: I’m sorry, sir, you can’t leave the restaurant until you’ve had your meal.

Man: I ordered my meal two hours ago and it still hasn’t arrived.

Waitress: Sir, it’s restaurant policy to keep diners on the premises until they’ve been served their meal.

Man: When is my meal coming?

Waitress: As soon as the chef gets clearance to serve it.

For All Of Us, Really

Dad: It’s been a while since we had a family meeting and I thought it would be helpful for us to talk about how things are going. If you ask me, things are going well. Really well. The raise I got in November has enabled us to purchase a new car, buy a small vacation home in Tahoe, and we’ve redone the bathroom in a grand style. Tony made honor roll again—good job, Tony. All of Sandy’s teachers say she’s doing really well, too. This might seem like an odd thing to bring up in front of everyone, but mom has lost eighteen pounds since Christmas. That’s just really amazing. Becky, I’m so proud of you. You’re my rock. Sniffy’s back surgery in February was a complete success and that meant we didn’t have to find a new dog, which is also amazing. We all love Sniffy. Sniffy, you’re my rock, too. Just a little joke. Seriously, though, we love you Sniffy. And in March we all went and saw the rerelease of Return of the Jedi and that was a good time. So from my perspective, things are just great in the family.

Tony: That’s it?

Dad: I know there’s more to say, but I don’t think it needs to be said in the family meeting.

Sandy: If not during the family meeting, then when? Mom hasn’t cooked dinner in four months. You’re sleeping in the basement. Tony’s honor roll status was revoked when he got caught cheating on a math exam.

Tony: Sandy is getting sued by State Farm.  

Dad: Yes, some of those things may be true. But Sandy was eighteen when the accident happened which was a mercy to our family, although it has been hard for Sandy. That’s true. Look, we’ve definitely had our challenges and our struggles, but everyone does, and I think it’s amazing we’ve come out so well.  

Sandy: You kicked me out of the house for three weeks in March because “my energy was off” and you needed to finish the paperwork on the Tahoe house. I had to stay with grandma.

Dad: You love your grandma, though, and it was a sweet time for you both.

Mom: The money for Sniffy’s back surgery came out of the family vacation fund.

Dad: But we had the money and that’s what counts.

Mom: It didn’t come out of your boat fund.

Dad: Well, I worked hard for that money.

Mom: You were also the one who broke Sniffy’s back.

Dad: Now, that was ruled an accident. I was carrying a very large, heavy object and I didn’t see Sniffy.

Sandy: You were carrying a case of Scotch to your mancave.

Dad: It’s not a mancave. We’ve discussed this. It’s an enclosed domestic professional liaison venue and I need it for work.

Tony: And what are you going to do in your enclosed domestic professional liaison venue? Make more money for your boat fund?

Sandy: If we had taken Sniffy to a better surgeon, he might not pee on the floor all the time.

Dad: Now, stop it. All of you, stop it. God has been very good to us. He’s blessed us immensely. Not everybody lives in a nice house like ours. Not everyone has the essentials of life. Sure, there have been some bumps along the way, but families have to stick together.

Sandy: Even when their “energy is off”?

Dad: That’s different. Look, I just want to make sure that everybody’s in a good mood when the news crew shows up later. The Gatlinburg NBC affiliate doesn’t give Father of the Year to just anybody. This could be huge for me. For all of us, really.

The Rise and Fall of (Ministry Name Here)

The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill often missed the point, but it was occasionally compelling.

Anyone older than forty came of age in a time when Christian ministries fell because the charismatic leaders in charge slept with their secretaries or embezzled millions to fund luxury lifestyles.

The story of Mars Hill in Seattle, however, is a warning that there are other ways for a Christian ministry to tank: greed, subterfuge, covetousness, bullying, cruelty, arrogance, unchecked ambition, indifference, discreet power structures, secrets, dishonesty, or just a continued squeamish unwillingness to address relatively commonplace workplace sins. If you’ve listened to The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, you know that these are the sort of faults and sins which people are willing to overlook until they’re not–and it can be hard to predict when anyone on the inside is going to say, “I’m not going along with this anymore.”

A High School Boy Explains Why He Keeps Untucking His Uniform Shirt

“No doubt, you people have wondered why it’s necessary to tell me eight or nine times a week, ‘Trent, tuck in your shirt.’ You must complain about it in the breakroom. One of you probably says something like, ‘I had to remind Trent to tuck in his shirt again today,’ and then someone else says, ‘So did I,’ and a third says, ‘Me, too!’ You probably stand around shaking your heads, wondering how anyone can need so many reminders to tuck in his shirt. It’s baffling, isn’t it? Well, I’d like to tell you why I need so many reminders. I probably shouldn’t do this, and it’s probably a betrayal of my own kind to do it, but I’m going to tell you why you have to keep reminding me to tuck in my shirt. It’s because you morons never really do anything about it.”

-from my latest for CiRCE