If Restaurants Were Run As Badly As Airlines

Scenario One.

Man: The reservation is under the name O’Leary for 7:30.

Maître d: Your table is actually not going to be ready until 7:45.

Man: That’s fine.

Maître d: Actually, it’s going to be 8:00.

Man: 8:00?

Maître d: Actually, 9:30.

Man: What?

Maître d: I’m sorry, the 9:30 table is already booked, but there are two seats open in the restaurant next door at 2:00 in the morning.

Scenario Two.

Man: (handing over ticket) I’d like to pick up my coat.

Coat check girl: I’m sorry, sir, your coat isn’t here.

Man: Where is it?

Coat check girl: (tapping on iPad) Uh… It’s in Akron.

Scenario Three.

Man: Let me out of this restaurant.

Waitress: I’m sorry, sir, you can’t leave the restaurant until you’ve had your meal.

Man: I ordered my meal two hours ago and it still hasn’t arrived.

Waitress: Sir, it’s restaurant policy to keep diners on the premises until they’ve been served their meal.

Man: When is my meal coming?

Waitress: As soon as the chef gets clearance to serve it.